Professor Albert Mehrabian, a pioneer behind the understanding of communications, since the 1960s, is responsible for the widely quoted statistic which says that in any form of communication only 7% of the message are the words that are spoken. The other 93% of the message is made up of the tone of voice and facial expression/body language.
Taking this research into account you can see just how incredibly difficult it is to be an effective communicator over the phone. This really comes into play when the content being discussed is highly emotive. However in today’s modern business world we can’t avoid using the phone, and we need to develop skills to compensate for the absence of body language.
Below are some of my hints/tips for creating great body language while on the phone.
Vary the pace, tone and pitch to fit the content. Talk slower and calmer if the message is serious. Talk a little faster, more enthusiastically and lighter when the message is more upbeat.
Respond vocally to comments and questions. Reflective listening with prompts like “a-ha”, “hmm”, “yes” or “I see”, will let the people who are speaking know that you are listening.
Use a head-set with a microphone. This will free your hands and body, giving you more room to express yourself.
Stand up when speaking on the phone. If you don’t need to be at your computer screen, get up and walk around. You’ll sound more enthusiastic, and it’s a great way to transmit body language via your voice. If you must sit down, then sit up straight and remain attentive.
The most important tool you have when on the phone is your voice. Consider vocal exercises to improve the quality and range of your voice. A voice with good vocal range is much easier to listen to, than one which is dull and mono-tone.
Focus on your breathing. It’s good practice to learn some breathing exercises that you can use prior to the start of a call where you will do a lot of speaking. This is really helpful before a really important call, where you might be a bit nervous.
I hope you find these tips useful. Are you using them today? If so perhaps you can share examples of where they have helped you. Do you have any additional tips that you’d like to share? Please let us know by leaving a comment.
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Stupid things women say
Have you ever gone on a first date that you thought went swimmingly only to be left wondering why he never called you again? Well, if you said any of the following things to him, you’ll have your answer.
Stupid things women say #10
It looks like you’re losing your hair
This is just one example of the myriad insults you could unknowingly say to a man. You might think his receding hairline is sorta cute, but you can bet he’s going to break out the Rogaine the second he gets home.
You wouldn’t like it if he said you had “cute, hairy arms”, so don’t say anything that might be construed as an insult.
Stupid things women say #9
I used to be really fat
The minute you reveal a terrible flaw of yore or even today, he will spend the evening picturing this flaw. So if you used to be shaped like a circle, you can bet that every time you take a forkful of food, he’s picturing Patty the Fatty and won’t be able to shake it.
While it’s okay to be self-deprecating every now and then, your objective should be to place yourself in a very positive light, so tell him about your recent promotion or how you once punched a shark in the head when you thought it was going after your friend.
Stupid things women say #8
I want a man with money & a nice car
While the exact words may not come out of your mouth, many women tend to give off the impression that they’re in it for the money. What’s worse, an innocent question like “What do you do?” might be misinterpreted as “How much money do you make?”
When it comes to money matters and the like, try to keep the conversation light. The last thing you want him to think is that you’re a gold digger.
Stupid things women say #7
I’ve slept with 26 men & I’m only 24
Whenever I hear women saying the age old, “When a man sleeps with a hundred women, he’s a stud, but when a woman does it, she’s a whore”. Yes, and many men (and even women) will always see that way.
I’m not going to get into why lowering yourself down to that train of thought is not the brightest move, but I will tell you that revealing to any man that you’ve slept with a couple of football teams in your day will only serve to place you in the “party girl” category. And if that’s where you want to be, party on.
But if not, then don’t reveal how many men you’ve slept with, had relationships with, or anything remotely close to that until you get to know him better (or perhaps even never at all).
Stupid things women say #6
Sorry, I have my period
You’re a bit crabby and achy, and even if that little bitch is visiting, there’s no need for a news flash. Men are visual and the second he hears “period”, you could imagine that dinner won’t be as tantalizing as it was a minute ago.
Words like “cramps, ovulating, period”, and “time of the month” should not be uttered on dates. Instead, if you’re feeling crampy, take a Midol and make the best of it.
Stupid things women say #5
My ex was amazing in bed
Any compliments you have for the ex-boyfriend will not bode well for the gentleman sitting across you. He will think you’re still attached, rebounding, having sex with him, or all of the above.
That’s not to say that you should be blasting away at your ex, either. There is no need to bring him up at all unless he’s just a fixture in an interesting story and not the focal point.
Stupid things women say #4
Sally slept with Jeff who was dating Jane…
Gossip. It is the bane of most of us. Give me a tabloid and I’m good for the day, but the moment I’m on a date, who did what with whom is off limits.
People who spend their time gossiping, especially to someone who has no idea whom they’re talking about, end up appearing like losers. It’s as though there aren’t enough interesting things happening in your life and you need to fill the void by enjoying everyone else’s misery.
Of course, mentioning Brad, Angelina and that whole fiasco is one thing, but talking about people he’s never heard of is quite another.
Stupid things women say #3
I think I’m falling in love with you
It’s possible you connected on a million levels and you think that he’s the one. But saying so after knowing him for such a short amount of time will make you seem unstable.
I am a believer in love at first sight and instant connections, but most guys I’ve spoken to don’t fall for that and are very skeptic of those who do.
Keep dating, enjoy the time you spend with him and see where it goes. Just don’t mess it up by professing your undying love over a casual dinner date.
Stupid things women say #2
I hate…
No matter what it is you hate – sunshine, your brother, hairy backs, toenails – the word “hate” has a very strong connotation and places you in a negative light. And hating so many things over the course of a night will only make you seem like, well, a hater.
So rather than use the word hate to describe your sentiments about anything, opt instead to use “dislike” or “prefer”. You don’t want to come off as angry and bitter.
Stupid things women say #1
My mom thinks I should be married
Making a hint that in any way closely resembles marriage, let alone actually saying the word will drive any man who barely knows you out of your life faster than you can say “diamonds”.
Even if you’re pushing 40, advertising that you’re browsing for a husband is not the way to go. If you hit it off, that’s one thing, but talking about such a serious issue during a casual date may lead to uncomfortable silences.
Instead, keep things light and fun, and make sure he knows you’re interested without breaking out the wedding invitation list.
Stupid things women say
So long as you manage to avoid keywords like marriage, hate, in love, my ex, period, money, and car, you’ll probably come out of your date feeling good about yourself and the situation.
Hopefully he’ll manage to avoid saying anything that ends up getting your goat, and you’ll live happily ever after.
original:http://datedaily.mate1.com/dating/top-10/5-stupid-things-women-say/2/